2014: page twenty-nine

Today, oh, today. Today was not the greatest day. I struggled and did not handle today very well. A lot of ugliness in my heart came out. Selfishness, impatience, I could go on. Thankfully, I am covered by the grace of God! 

B, right from the get go this morning, was whiney and grumpy. I'm not really sure why, but I guess everyone has those day. So, I was glad that her auntie was going to watch her for a while this morning. :)

I took B over to her auntie's house later in the morning and enjoyed a trip to a couple of stores before heading home to continue tackling our guest room. Pulling out all the stuff that didn't belong (boxes, helium tank, box fans, a ladder), I was ready to hit the closet. Deciding which backpacks to keep and which to give away, stacking the suitcases inside of each other to make space on the floor, I was really in my groove.

The phone rang. The ugliness started. The auntie who had B was on the other end. Her 3 year old had fallen and hit her head leaving a big gash and a trip to the doctor was in order. While I was saddened that her little girl was hurt, my selfish heart was upset that my time to myself was over. No more progress would be made on what I had wanted to get done. I know. Poor me. Get over it.

Along with picking up B, I would also be picking up two five year olds. I need to learn to be more flexible and go with the flow. My quiet morning/early afternoon was ending.

Ever since B's fall while playing with cousins that resulted in a trip to the ER, I can't relax when other children are over playing. Yet, I know that I can't sit there and watch them the entire time they are playing.

Mom of an only child.

Trust Jesus.

After I got off the phone, I literally said to myself "don't cry, don't cry." It's just where I was at in that moment. I didn't cry. I composed myself and realized that I would have to put everything back in the room that I had stacked in the hall in order for the house to be kid friendly again. So, quickly, I did and hopped in the truck to go grab the kids. I said a prayer on the way over that I would let go of myself and be open to whatever came my way.

Let the stress begin.

The five year olds right off the bat tried to sneak to the basement which is a work zone and has nothing to offer kids. They knew better. Oh well. Up to B's room they went to play. Actually, for the most part they did great. They really did. Having fun playing and getting along well for the most part, I can't complain.

It's just me.

I don't handle chaos very well and it felt chaotic to me. And people wonder why I only want one child. :)

Deciding to let them be kids and play up there, I headed downstairs. After a bit, I decided it would be best to check in. Well, one look up the stairs revealed the bathroom door had been left open and B was in there. At the toilet. Seat up. Water everywhere. Splashing a baby in the toilet. Yuck! Then sucking on said baby. I almost gagged. I was mortified. Ugh! Cardigan off and gross toilet baby taken away. Door closed and we moved on. Still disgusted by it all.

Shortly thereafter, auntie came to pick up the kids and thankfully her baby girl didn't need stitches, just some glue. We hung out for a while and then it was time for them to go home and for B to take a nap.

For some reason this day just seemed to drag on and last forever. Seeing Ryan walk in the door was refreshing and uplifting for my soul. I love that man! Taking the cue that I needed a break, he grabbed B and the dogs and went for a walk. Aaah.

Then, we all hopped in the truck and went for a drive up to Neola to look at some land we may have the opportunity to buy. Living in Neola is something Ryan has talked about since the day we met. Being able to get some land up there now would be great so we can eventually build a house there. :)

My evening ended by going to Bible study at church, which is always great to be able to turn my focus off of me and to my God. Jesus is my Rock and I talked to Him a lot today through all my struggles. Without Him, my reactions would have probably been worse and I may have completely lost it a time or two. How amazing it is to me that I have a God who is personal, wants a relationship with me and who I can turn to in my rough moments (as well as my good).

I didn't like writing this page. Writing about this day. But here it is. I made it through and tomorrow is a NEW DAY! Thank you, Jesus!

2014: page twenty-eight

Well, Glenwood Springs didn't happen either. Seriously, I don't need more reasons to dislike the snow. Oh well, such is life and a part of me was prepared for this to happen, because, after all, it is still winter. Ryan still went for work, but just for one night as the snow is supposed to start tomorrow afternoon. I think we might try for next week. Fingers crossed for there to be a few snow free days so that we can make the drive.

B's cousin, Aryka, came over and watched/played with her for a couple hours after school. The two of them had a blast together and I made significant progress in tackling the mess in our guest room. B was happy and I was happy. I'll call that a win-win situation right there. :)

After B went to bed, I painted some shelves to put in her room and just relaxed. I enjoy a little time to myself every now and again, but I do hate going to bed by myself. I miss my hubby!

2014: page twenty-seven

I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little bit bummed. We were supposed to drive to Denver today for the week, but the weather has a different idea. Too big of a chance of bad weather through the mountains both today and on Friday when we were going to come home.

Seeing a couple of good friends that I hadn't seen for quite a few years was going to be the highlight and is the biggest reason that I am sad. Although, I was also looking forward to the shopping and yummy food, as well as, swimming in the hotel pool for those few days. Hopefully, we will be able to make the trip soon.

The silver lining is that we will still get to take a shorter 2 day trip to Glenwood Springs leaving tomorrow, which will be fun as there will still be shopping at Target, yummy food and the hotel swimming pool. I'll take it.

So, for today, we hung out at home. Since we weren't going to go anywhere today, B picked out what she wanted to wear. Usually on days like this she opts for just a diaper. :) Today, however, she picked out a few things to wear as she would see something she wanted to put on.

First, she started with shoes (she had socks on already) that she saw and liked, which turned out to be a pair of tennis shoes that are at least one size, if not two sizes, too big.

A little bit later, she saw her "Broncos" shirt hanging in her closet and insisted on wearing that. This is the Peyton Manning jersey Ryan and I bought for her on our trip this past fall that is a couple sizes too big so she can wear it for a couple of seasons. :) On went the shirt.

Then she wanted the pink "jacket" (hoody).

And while she won't wear head bands anymore, if she sees her Broncos one she will and must put it on...herself.

We never did end up with any pants. Oh well.

It was quite the outfit which you can see below. :)
  

2014: page twenty-six

The following conversation occurred this evening with B. She was all ready to go with her star sunglasses on and carrying her purse (phone and keys inside).

B: Lella (Briella) work later.
Me: You're going to work later? Where do you work?
B: Castle
Me: What is your job? What do you do at the castle?
B: Princess!

Oh my! Too funny!

2014: page twenty-five

Picture-less today, but we had another fun day of ice fishing out at Pelican Lake with all B's cousins on Ryan's side plus Uncle Jeremy, Auntie Crystal, and Grandpa.

B even caught a fish, which nobody knew until someone reeled in her line after she put it down and walked away!

While the younger kids enjoy the fishing for a little while, really they are there just to be pulled on sleds behind the 4 wheeler. Ha ha! Oh and to play in the warm hut. Having an ice hut is great, so they have a place to warm up after playing in the cold and snow.

A great day outside!

2014: page twenty-four

I had the sweetest moments with B today. She grabbed a giant blanket and brought it to me asking me to wrap her in it like a baby, which I happily did and plopped her in my lap. We just sat there, the two of us snuggling while I rubbed her face and prayed over her. Rarely will she sit in my lap and just sit not talking or wanting something or wanting to watch a show or getting up to play. This lasted for a good 10 minutes and I soaked in every minute of it! What a blessed time!

Then, it was DATE NIGHT! Oh, how I look forward to date nights! Time to just be with my hubby. I am so thankful to Ryan's mom for offering out of the blue to watch B so we could have a date. She was missing B as it had been a while since she last saw her. So, this worked out for all of us. B had time with her grandpa and grandma and Ryan and I had time together to enjoy each other's company over a nice dinner. So refreshing!

I actually did my hair in preparation for our date! Usually, seven out of seven days my hair is pulled up. Ha!

My date! (I have to sneak pictures...lol)

Salmon over polenta fries in a divine spiced salmon tomato sauce and topped with a parmesan crisp. Yum! I had to take a pic because you don't see food like this around here very often. :)

2014: page twenty-three

So, reality is that most of my life is spent with this sweet one and most of my book of 2014 will feature her. And I am ok with that! I cannot think of anything else that I would rather do with my days!

I know there will come a day when she will be starting school and then moving on to make a life of her own. While that seems so far away, I am trying to take everyone's advice to cherish each moment for they will fly by so quickly. To that end I am attempting to think of this through the fits and tantrums and trying to teach her what is ok and what is not. Thankfully, though, overall, she is sweet and silly and funny and happy and likes to cuddle.

Today, she played with her shape/color sorter and sorted them all in to colors, putting the blue shapes on the blue peg, yellow shapes on the yellow peg, etc., even throwing in a little humor when she'd put the wrong color on a peg and then laugh, say "no" and put it on the correct one. :) After that she decided to put them on her toes. Love the look of concentration on her face!

2014: page twenty-two

Another day with this sweet baby!

2014: page twenty-one

Fishing... no, we didn't go fishing today, but for some reason B was stuck on the idea of wanting to go fishing. I mean, seriously wanted to go fishing. She kept requesting it and would get upset when I told her we couldn't go. Too funny and that makes her daddy happy. :)

To help ease the disappointment and to get out of the house, I asked her if she wanted to go for a ride in the truck. Well, of course! But in order to go, she had to get dressed. I went upstairs to get some clothes and when I came back, she was ready to go with her hat and gloves on (as you can see below). You know, to "keep warm" as she said. Ha ha! Never a dull moment! 

Her Broncos hat. She did NOT want her picture taken here.

Walking in daddy's shoes. :)

2014: page twenty

Another jammie day at our house!

I think B is almost better, but we're still playing it low key. That, however, does not mean that we can't go outside! She loves to be outside and doesn't really care about the cold. I guess she was meant to live in the cold weather (unlike some of us...ha ha ha!). Actually, it was a pretty nice day around these parts. The sun was shining and it made it above 30! That's incredible for January!

So, out we tromped in our jammies, jacket, and hat. I'm sure the fresh air and sunshine did wonders for both of us. B could have stayed out much longer, but I didn't want to spend too much time out there. Although, Ryan took her on a walk with the dogs when he got home, too. :) The unfortunate part is that major fits are thrown when it's time to come in. We're working on it, but it makes it hard to want to take her outside. But, of course, we still will.

2014: page nineteen

B and I stayed home from church this morning since she is still fighting a cold.

But, the afternoon was filled with excitement! The Broncos beat the stinkin' Patriots in the AFC Championship game to make it to the Super Bowl! Yahoo!!!!

2014: page eighteen

Woke up this morning happy to be in same place as my hubby once again.

Enjoyed spending some time with my parents for the morning while my dadda fixed some breakfast. I love that he always fixes us a hot breakfast on the days we travel home. :)

Then packed up and off to Ikea we went. It was a quick trip this time as B was feeling a little under the weather and I knew what I wanted to get. There is always another time to hit up Ikea. :)

Quick stop for a burger then on to home. We were blessed with another beautiful sunny day for a drive!

Our time in Salt Lake was so refreshing for me. Staying with family...spending time with friends...watching B play with other little ones...help from Grandma and Grandpa taking care of B.

Ah, life is good! Thankful for such a time and then to be reunited with my love!

2014: page seventeen

Our last full day in the city and B woke up with a cold. :( Poor girl! But, so thankful to have a grandma to cuddle with her and let her sleep in her arms. Also, thankful that my dad and mom were willing to watch my sick baby so I could have some alone shopping time to spend some birthday money.

 

Later in the day B was feeling ok, so we kept our plans to go visit my aunt, uncle, and cousins and B's second cousin, Ciara. Being only 6 weeks apart, they are pretty fun to watch together. Shy at first, but then they warm up to each other. And Aunt Sonya made delicious homemade lasagna. Yum!

And Ryan flew back from Montana today! Yippee! B and I picked him up in the evening, although she fell asleep on the way to get him.

 

My sweet hubby bought me a Mocha Frappuccino and had it for me when I picked him up. I'd been meaning to get one all week and hadn't made it to a Starbucks, so this was a sweet surprise. :)

2014: page sixteen

Another day visiting a great friend!

This time it was my friend Missy and her cute boy, Zeke.

Again, the kids played and us momma's chatted, caught up with each other and watched our children interact.

What a joy to have such a wonderful life-long friend!

B and Zeke had fun playing with Zeke's pet bunny, racing down the hall, getting in the bathtub together, B sticking her thumb in his mouth (still not sure why. At least it wasn't her tongue, right Missy?! Ha ha ha!).

Another fun day! Another day good for my soul!

 

(Not sure why, but my phone is having focusing issues lately, so this is the best I could get)

2014: page fifteen

Fun with Dana and Jason!

B and Jason had a blast playing together.

Dana and I enjoyed each other's company and watching our kids play.

B and Jason also decided that it would be fun to poop at the same time. Twice. Ha ha ha!

2014: page fourteen



Low key day at Grandpa and Grandma's. Well, until Jensen came over to play that evening. :)



2014: page thirteen

A beautiful day for a drive out to Salt Lake!

Ryan headed to Montana today, so we drove out to Salt Lake (with a stop at Kneaders in Heber for a yummy lunch). While he is gone, B and I are spending the week in Salt Lake with Dadda and Momma to enjoy a whole week with family and friends. And a little shopping. :) Should be wonderful!

After we dropped Ryan off at the airport we headed to Dad and Mom's and hung out for the afternoon.

Then Grandma and Grandpa agreed to watch B so that I could meet up with my beautiful (inside and out!) friend, Dana. The Cheesecake Factory and great conversation without the interruption of children were much needed and appreciated!

2014: page twelve

Sunday, Broncos, Playoffs! All important and/or fun, but what is AMAZING is having a husband who will take time to play with his baby girl and the doll house during a close playoff game! I am blessed to have such a husband and B is blessed to have such a daddy! 

Oh, and the Broncos won!

2014: page eleven

Ice Fishing!

Ended up being a gorgeous winter day, so to the lake we went for ice fishing, sledding and riding around on the four wheeler!

I guess you can have fun in the winter! :)

2014: page ten

What a treat! B and I had breakfast with all the sisters-in-law and mother-in-law (her aunties and Grandma) this morning. Good food and wonderful company!

Unfortunately, I forgot to take a picture at breakfast, but here are a few of the sweet girl I get to spend my days with. :)

Not really sure why, but she was just sitting on the couch for the longest time sucking on her toes. Ha ha!

It appears that she really, really liked the soup I made for dinner!

Mmmmmm....soup.