With A Smile On My Face

Ryan and I were driving in the mountains on Sunday, just enjoying the beauty and somehow my mind had wandered (ok, it does that a lot and I don't know how to shut it off most of the time.). Apparently, I had this look on my face like I was really thinking about something. I think I had a smile on my face. I noticed that he looked over a few times and then he finally asked what I was thinking. My smile got bigger and I chuckled a bit and just said, “Life is funny. Sometimes it hits me that I live in Roosevelt, Utah.”

It's funny how God works. A year ago, I would never in a million years have imagined that I would be where I am today. I was happy working at the church, hanging out with friends, and spending time with my family...just living life. Little did I know that in January I would be laid off from my job and wondering what was next. Little did I know, that in God's perfect timing, He had put Ryan into my life only 2 short weeks before that lay off. And so, now, here I am 7 months later, living in Roosevelt, Utah (don't worry, I had to look it up on a map, too :) ), dating the amazing Ryan, and working for the state of Utah helping others who have been laid off or who are in financial need.

Life is funny, life is good, and life is definitely unpredictable. I love my God and I love how He works!

Ten Days in Paradise

I spent 10 glorious days on Maui in March! The weather was perfect and the company was wonderful! It has been 9 months since I saw Tara and 3 years since I’d hung out with Elyssa, so we made the most of it. The three of us had a ton of fun playing on the beach, watching whales, snorkeling, kayaking, cruising around in our convertible, camping, hiking, watching sunsets, etc.

We had to stop and take a picture next to the beautiful Hibiscus flowers!

The beautiful red sand beach

The end of the hike...Wailua Falls

Our ride for the trip to Hana...hot, hot, hot! :)

Cold in Hawaii?? Yep, here we are at the top of Haleakala at 10,000 feet.

Haleakala Crater

Sunset from atop Haleakala

Enjoying our Lava Flows! Yum!

Sunset at Kaanapali Beach

Rainbow at Kaanapali Beach

The kayak trip to watch the whales close up

Kamaole Beach. We spent a lot of time here...just a five minute walk from Aaron and Tara's.

Would I Have Believed?

This past weekend I watched the “Jesus of Nazareth” movie, which is about Jesus’ life from birth to death. It is an excellent movie that makes all the things that I’ve read in the Bible come to life in a more real way. It is an excellent movie and I highly recommend it. Just make sure you have the time to sit down and watch it…it’s over 6 hours.

Anyway, with last Sunday being Easter and having watched this movie, I’ve been thinking and the question that keeps coming to my mind is, “Would I have believed Jesus?” I wonder, if I was alive during that time and I saw Jesus up close and personal, would I have believed what He said about who He was/is? Or would I have been like most people and rejected Him? I’ve always thought that I would believe. After all, how could you not if you saw it firsthand. Now, I’m not so sure. How would it have been to know Jesus from His birth and to watch Him grow up? Would I believe that He was the Son of God? Would I believe Him when I saw Him born as a human? Would I have been blinded to all the prophecies that He fulfilled? Would I have seen Him as the Messiah? Or would I have been looking for what the others were looking for?

I believe now that He is who He says He is and that He is the Messiah and Redeemer. I know that it’s true. But, would I have believed it then? I’ve just been thinking about it in a different way after watching His life portrayed on screen. Would I have believed?

The important thing is that I believe now! I’m just curious.

A List

So, I realized that I haven't blogged in almost two months. Apparently, I am not a very good blogger. I go through phases where I like to write and others where I don't. Anyway, I'm a list person. I like lists - to do lists, packing lists, project lists, any kind of list. So, I thought I would make this post a list of the last couple months. I think I'll go against my nature and go from the most recent and move backwards. I guess that isn't as much against my nature as it would be to list them all in a totally random order. Maybe next time.

• Tomorrow, I leave for Hawaii for 10 days! Not only will I be in Hawaii for 1o days, but I will be hanging out with two of my best friends.
  
• Last weekend, Ryan and I went to Moab, which was a blast! We visited Dead Horse Point and Canyonlands. I'd never been to Canyonlands and had only been to Dead Horse Point when I was really young. We had a great time hiking around in the sun.

• Allison was in town last week and we hung out a few times. I've literally know Allison my entire life, so it's always good to catch up. Oh, and she has the cutest baby ever! (I think I say that about all my friends' babies :))
  
• At the end of February, I spent 6 days in Roosevelt with Ryan and his family. Hung out with his sisters while he was at work and then he and I had a fun random weekend driving up to Flaming Gorge and to Fantasy Canyon. I don't think he got too sick of me while I was there. :)
  

• The rest of February and end of January was mostly hanging out with Ryan either here or in Roosevelt. (For those of you who don't know where Roosevelt is, it's about 2.5 hours from Salt Lake, near Vernal. For those of you don't know where Vernal is, look at a map. Ha ha.) I took Ryan to Ikea for the first time, so that was an adventure. Although, I have to say, I think he enjoyed the trip to Cabela's much more...we looked at a lot of fishing stuff. Who knew there was that much stuff just for fishing?
  
• Of course, encompassing the past few months has been the search for a job. It has been frustrating at times, but there are some benefits to being unemployed. Have to enjoy it while it lasts. :) I just didn't think that it would last this long. I know there are a lot of people looking for jobs, but it was put into perspective for me last week when I went to an interview and they said they had received 270 resumes for that one position. Yikes! Good news is that a job opportunity has come along in the past couple of days that could be promising. I know that no matter what, I'm good and I'm taken care of.

So, there it is...my life in a list.

Life

Where to begin. It's been a while and I know that my last post was all about 31 being the best year yet and I really believe that it could be. However, there have been some difficult circumstances in life so far this year.

1. Stressed out parents who are preoccupied and that I have felt disconnected from, which if you know me at all is a big deal especially when I get to point 3
2. My grandma is at the place in life where it is time to move to an assisted living center. That has been hard for my dad along with the other stressors in his life.
3. One week after my last post I was laid off from my job.

Despite these things, I am still convinced that life is good and it will be an amazing year. I don't know what's going to happen, but I know that God is bigger than all of this and anything else that may come my way. His plans are far better than I can imagine. That is why I have hope.

Already, in each of the three situations above, I have seen God working.

1. I have my parents back. :)
2. Grandma is open to and has agreed that this is the best choice - something that she hasn't been willing to do in the past.
3. No new job yet, but there are some possibilities. And the silver lining is that I have enjoyed the last two weeks off, spending time with friends and just chillin'. :) Plus, I know that there is a job out there just for me (I'm just not in a big rush to find it :)).

Life is good, because God is good.

31!

I’ve decided that 31 is a good age. I don’t really have an explanation, I just decided to make it a good age. Afterall, the alternative is that it will be a bad age and I really don’t want that.

This birthday, from beginning to end, was perhaps the best one that I have had in a long time. It was a great day with LOTS of birthday wishes from so many people. I feel VERY loved! Thank you to all you wonderful people in my life.

Over this past year I have come to realize how blessed I am. I can’t even explain how grateful I am for the family that God has given me. They are amazing! My parents are two of the most amazing people I know. I am thankful that they are still married and actually love each other. I can’t go into the details, but this past month, they have done one of the most unselfish things that anyone could do and did it with good attitudes. They are an excellent example to me. It’s hard to even put into words how I feel about them and just how amazing they are. Why does it take being an adult to appreciate your parents? :) And I’m very thankful to have a big brother that I actually like spending time with. He’s amazing, too!

Not only am I blessed by my family, but my incredible friends, both near and far, as well. You guys are my lifeline at times and remind me what life is all about, what’s important, and encourage me when I need it. I just hope I’m as good of a friend to all of you as you all are to me.

My 31st birthday was a great way to start this new year of my life, celebrating with some friends who live here and talking to others on the phone. I had a great time at The Cheesecake Factory (yes, the tradition continues) eating yummy food and hanging out with the girls. We even saw David Archuletta. :)

I’m really looking forward to this coming year to see what it will bring! God is good and I know that His blessings never cease in both the good and bad times.

So, here’s to being 31! Cheers!

Overcome

Overcome
I can see that my hands are trembling
I can see that my legs are weak
I can see that my head is spinning
but I will overcome
and I know that my heart is hurting
and I know that my soul it aches
and I know that it seems I'm falling
but I will overcome

Oh Lord I'm strong in you
oh Lord I'm wise in you
oh Lord I can see in you
so I will overcome
oh lord I'm loved by you
oh Lord I'm free in you
oh Lord I'm complete in you
so I will overcome, I will overcome

This is one of my current favorite "worship" songs. We sang it at the Women's One Day event at my church a couple of Saturdays ago and the lines that I bolded above were especially meaningful to me that day and in the days since. I was (and still am) struggling with identity and those lines and the overall theme of the song to overcome are powerful. If I can just live like those lines are true (which they are!), then my "identity" as I see it and even as others see it, doesn't really matter. Oh, how I long to truly live in that! You see, my whole life, I have picked one thing or a couple of somethings and based my identity on them. These things are faulty things. For the last what seems like forever, without necessarily realizing it, I have based my entire identity on being single. I've seen that as who I am and not just a part of me. And in my mind, I equate single to being a loser (for lack of a better word). Now wonder, I'm all messed up! :) I have some amazing people in my life who I've shared this with in person and it's amazing how wrong I am and have been in how I think people see me. It's hard to wrap my mind around it all, but I have learned (or am in the process of learning or letting it sink in), that my identity doesn't come from this aspect or really any aspect of my life. It comes from God! Of course, I have been taught this for my entire life, but I've never really embraced it. Or, if I ever have embraced it, it hasn't lasted. I've known it to be true, but have I ever really BELIEVED it? That's the key. I need to believe it. I need to trust that what GOD says is true. And that is simply filling my mind with the truth of God's Word and getting rid of the lies that I have believed for so long. I need to take hold of those thoughts that lead me to think and believe things that are untrue. So, here's to being single and being ok with it! :)

I read somewhere yesterday, the following, "stop feeling that there is something wrong with being single." Thought that was a good way to put it after the past few weeks of my life journey. That doesn't mean that the desire to not be single isn't still there, it's just in proper perspective.

Well, I could sit here forever and write, trying to get all my thoughts out, but I've got to go to bed. Hopefully, I'll have a chance to try and get more of them out and let others in on this part of my journey.