Overcome

Overcome
I can see that my hands are trembling
I can see that my legs are weak
I can see that my head is spinning
but I will overcome
and I know that my heart is hurting
and I know that my soul it aches
and I know that it seems I'm falling
but I will overcome

Oh Lord I'm strong in you
oh Lord I'm wise in you
oh Lord I can see in you
so I will overcome
oh lord I'm loved by you
oh Lord I'm free in you
oh Lord I'm complete in you
so I will overcome, I will overcome

This is one of my current favorite "worship" songs. We sang it at the Women's One Day event at my church a couple of Saturdays ago and the lines that I bolded above were especially meaningful to me that day and in the days since. I was (and still am) struggling with identity and those lines and the overall theme of the song to overcome are powerful. If I can just live like those lines are true (which they are!), then my "identity" as I see it and even as others see it, doesn't really matter. Oh, how I long to truly live in that! You see, my whole life, I have picked one thing or a couple of somethings and based my identity on them. These things are faulty things. For the last what seems like forever, without necessarily realizing it, I have based my entire identity on being single. I've seen that as who I am and not just a part of me. And in my mind, I equate single to being a loser (for lack of a better word). Now wonder, I'm all messed up! :) I have some amazing people in my life who I've shared this with in person and it's amazing how wrong I am and have been in how I think people see me. It's hard to wrap my mind around it all, but I have learned (or am in the process of learning or letting it sink in), that my identity doesn't come from this aspect or really any aspect of my life. It comes from God! Of course, I have been taught this for my entire life, but I've never really embraced it. Or, if I ever have embraced it, it hasn't lasted. I've known it to be true, but have I ever really BELIEVED it? That's the key. I need to believe it. I need to trust that what GOD says is true. And that is simply filling my mind with the truth of God's Word and getting rid of the lies that I have believed for so long. I need to take hold of those thoughts that lead me to think and believe things that are untrue. So, here's to being single and being ok with it! :)

I read somewhere yesterday, the following, "stop feeling that there is something wrong with being single." Thought that was a good way to put it after the past few weeks of my life journey. That doesn't mean that the desire to not be single isn't still there, it's just in proper perspective.

Well, I could sit here forever and write, trying to get all my thoughts out, but I've got to go to bed. Hopefully, I'll have a chance to try and get more of them out and let others in on this part of my journey.

More Than Grateful

What I am most thankful for is my God and Savior, Jesus Christ! The more I stop and think about it, the more it overwhelms me with how high, long, deep, and wide the love of Jesus is! Without Him, I have no hope and am unable to love others. I am so amazed that He is my Savior and that at the same time I can have a relationship with Him. He is not some far away God who is looking down from a distance. He is a personal, loving God who wants to have a personal relationship with anyone who calls on Him. He offers grace, of which I am in need and for which I am more than grateful. I don't have to try and live a life of being good enough, but through God's grace I have the freedom to live a life of love in response to what He has already done! I love my God and I am most grateful for who He is and what He has done!

Grateful

I think that I should be thankful all of the time, but how often do I stop and take the time to truly be thankful, to thank God for the MANY blessings in my life? Not as often as I should. Although, it has been a bit more of a pattern lately. As Thanksgiving approaches, I want to dwell on God's goodness. Not just when things are going well, but ALL of the time. So, I will start by sharing a list that I started back in probably April. This list is "100+ Reasons to Be Grateful." I haven't gotten to 100 yet, but I'm working on it. I pull up this list every now and again, read what I've written, and add to the list. Some of them are light-hearted or even maybe a little silly, some are serious, some are vague, and some are specific.

100+ Reasons to be Grateful:
1) Family
2) Friends
3) A place to live
4) A job
5) Clothes to wear
6) A car to drive
7) A church family
8) The ability to support myself
9) Hope
10) Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross
11) The love of God
12) Opportunities to get away from the normal everyday life
13) The sunshine
14) My past experiences
15) Opportunity to change
16) God's mercy
17) Pain
18) The internet
19) Email
20) My travel experiences
21) Good health
22) Forgiveness
23) Health Insurance
24) More than enough food to eat
25) Laughter
26) iPod
27) Glasses so I can see
28) Communication (instant with friends far away)
29) Fabulous co workers
30) Memories
31) God’s provision
32) Side jobs
33) Feelings
34) Logic (to counteract the feelings)
35) Choices
36) An accountability partner
37) Women’s Retreat
38) Books & the ability to read
39) My Bible
40) FPU
41) Tears (how crying really hard actually feels good afterward)
42) Empathy
43) Lotion
44) Medical advances
45) Friends who know things I don’t and can pass that knowledge on to me
46) Growth
47) Humorous situations
48) The little joys in life
49) Exercise
50) Water
51) $.99 Diet Coke at McDonald’s in the summer
52) Weekly hikes
53) A “new” free bike
54) Dogsitting
55) Chances to give
56) Long term friendships that span time and miles
57) New paint
58) Being challenged to become a better person/more Christ-like
59) Time
60) Fun memories
61) Regular pay back
62) Mountains
63) The beach
64) Frequent Flyer miles
65) Random trips
66) Solid foundation
67) The good and the bad
68) Discipline
69) Warm clothes
70) The chance to vote

So, I guess I'm not really close to 100 after all. I hope to get to 100 by the end of the year and then to keep going from there.

Here's to being grateful and dwelling on God's goodness, not my own circumstances.

Christmas???

I was at Wal-mart today and they already had Christmas music playing! Really? Already? How about we wait until Thanksgiving is over before the Christmas tunes begin? It's November 3rd, people! Sorry, that's just a pet peave of mine. I feel better now. :)

Don't get me wrong...I LOVE Christmas and all it represents! But for me, logically, one holiday should end before the next begins. Thanksgiving is also a wonderful holiday that should not be overlooked. And can be a great lead in to the Christmas season...thanking God for sending Jesus to earth humbly as a man to save us all. Yeah for Christmas (just not until after Thanksgiving :))!